As promised.

Two totally unrelated events, complete opposites that involved the same people.

Preface:

Some people just did not enjoy military service. I was not one of them. Steve Burley was one of them and he, much like Klinger in M.A.S.H. was trying everything short of a dress, probably because he didn't have the legs for it. It was an absolutely beautiful spring day at Ft. Lewis, not a cloud in the sky, just a bright, brilliant Saturday. A friend of mine said "Hey I got some windowpane" and it went from there, just a really nice, mellow afternoon. I was up on the 3rd floor of the barracks and seeing as it was so nice and seeing as Steve had been so stressed lately I decided to go say hi and see if we could go to Chambers Lake. So I walk into his room and he's got his back to me so "Hey Steve wanna go to Chambers Lake?". He says no, turns around, pushes past me out into the hallway and hits the stairs. What sort of was the most egregious and totally undeserved breach of Buzz Tradition was that apparently as I entered Steve's room he had just done one of those fake suicide little bitch cuts on his wrist. It all worked out in the end but the rest of the afternoon was totally ruined for me. Anyhow, Burley did get out and went home to Walla Walla, home of Walt Whitman University and a few days after I ETS'd I went to visit him in Walla Walla. While there, our playful friends the Peyote Buttons arrived and, again on a Saturday, we head to Pioneer Park to chill. We get there, park over by the pond and  we both agree we had significantly "Underestimated the Yield" and we were just as happy as you could be. Fire truck arrives, I look over where it was parking up and there was a crowd of people and we went over to look and see what was up. Swarm of bees in a willow bush. Firemen are talking about blasting them with the hose and they're setting up to do just that and I asked "Why?". Fireman says "So they don't attack anybody, there's kids here!". Que the Smartass.... Go! "Those bees are in a swarm, they don't have a hive to protect, they won't attack anyone" which falls on deaf ears. Twice. So, tripping balls on a sunny day surrounded by hot chicks I walk up to the swarm and push my hand into it. Right up to my thumb, all the while in my best loud sarcastic trippin on Peyote voice "Yeah look, I'm being attacked!" and people are just doing a group WTF!!??. When I went to pull my hand out though I about lost it, all those bees and their little hook feet hanging on to my skin, it took a lot of effort to actually pull my hand out. Still had some bees on my hand so I looked at who I guess was the Captain and did a little 'karate chop' into my left arm and those bees just fell off. Not one sting. "Gosh, look, loook!! Hundreds of stings!". They left the bees alone and went back to the firehouse and I actually enjoyed the rest of the day.  Steve Smith from Madison lived up past Gould's Pond on I believe Mungertown road... yeah maybe but his father had bees and he told me all about them when I was up there from time to time with my brother and he told me they wouldn't sting in a swarm and I took his word for it and it worked out."