Pink Yarn French Poodles.
As a misguided youth in Colorado several of my friends and I decided to do some LSD and go to a Frank Zappa concert in Boulder. I made a few phone calls, a small amount of money changed hands and we met downtown for the ride to Boulder. And yes, the drivers refrained. We all eat our snacks, pile into various automobiles and pick up truck, one each and before we knew it we were in Boulder. Anyhow, I'm waiting for the doors to open, standing in line and I was stone cold sober. Not the slightest hint of pink elephants or flying dayglow tigers. Hmmm. About 5 minutes later, someone said "Wow, look at those clouds, the look like giant bats!!". Slowly I turned and looked off to the West into the setting Sun and I had to admit those clouds did indeed look like bats. "AH, here we go!" I said to myself and a minute later the doors opened and we began to file in. One of our group was in line in front of me with a camera and the security man, obviously a football player for UoC, said "You can't take that camera in, give it to me". A spirited debate ensued and the end of the negotiations my friend kept his expensive camera but ended up surrendering all his film. Good to go. So I thought. Steroid Puppy sticks his finger in my face and says "And I'm going to search YOU to make sure YOU don't have any film!!". Yeah, basically told him if he tried I'd break his arm and shove it up his ass. A cop was standing about 10 feet away and I said "This man has no right to search me and if he tries I'm going to fuck him up". Cops tells Steroid Puppy "He's right, you can't search him" and I pushed past the clown. All good. We all get into, look at our tickets, and we head to our seats. Well, actually, I did and about 6 people followed me, for some reason I was the de facto 'leader of the pack' for some reason and I was just as high as they were but whatever. We get to our row and there's a guy laying on the floor puking just a little. I tell him "Hey, there are our seats, you gotta go". He looks at me and it was obvious he had done shrooms of peyote or something and he asks me "Do you think I'll be OK?". I said "Yeah, as long as you move and don't puke by our seats I think you'll be OK but who really knows?'. Off he goes and we settle in to our seats. In our group was a sailor in the British Navy who was on leave to Colorado and we were talking to him at our rally point. Someone said we had an extra ticket if he wanted to go and sure enough he did. He asked if we had any more Happy Paper and we did so he got some blotter as well. I was sitting on the aisle, he was to my left and rest the crew to his left. I was a boy scout and a scout in the Army and had taken "Be Prepared" seriously so I'd rolled probably 10 or so joints. I lit one and passed it to my left. I was known for rolling fat joints, Hog Legs as they were called and when people asked me why I rolled such fat numbers I said "Roll fat joints, Save a Tree". So, I figured they should have been passed back at least one time but nope, no second hit for me, which I found curious. About 3 joints into the evening I thought it might be wise to keep an eye on that joint to see where they were going. Sailor dude, having lied to us about taking acid in the past, was taking the joint, slamming down a massive hit even by my standards, but instead of passing them down he was very slowly placing them on the floor by his right foot and putting them out. I saw them, laying there unloved and rather than saying anything, I just picked them up and started reaching past the Commodore so the rest of the people could smoke them. All good. Fantastic concert, Top 5 for sure. Only thing I didn't really care for was that a purple spot light was reflecting off of something on the stage and it was in my eyes the entire time but hey, rally on. When we got outside, oddly enough for Colorado, the weather had changed a bit and it had started to rain. Three of us are riding in the back of the truck, myself, The Commodore and the guy who had the camera. On the way back into Denver the rain turned to snow. Behind us all we could see were round halos of snowflake in the headlights of the cars, and they made a loud hissing noise when they passed us, it was actually really cool. The friend with the camera says "Man, I wonder what the people in those cars think of us sitting in the back of a truck in a snow storm!". Me being an asshole by nature leaned over the Commodore and said "What makes you think those are cars, and what makes you think there are people in them?". See, some people handle LSD better than others, or should I say they have different experiences while tripping. So when I said that, my friend had an almost immediate reaction... his eyes bulged wide and he said "WHAT????" and quite frankly he lost his shit to the point where I had to reach over and restrain him because for a second I thought he was about the leap from the truck.. and even with the slick road I thought that would be a bad thing. So I'm in the back of a pickup in a blizzard trying to calm crazy boy down and in my mind I'm thing "We will be in Sullivan's soon and it will be warm and they have liquor, you'll be OK". Keeping a positive mindset when all about you are freaking the fuck out has it's advantages and sure as shit, before I knew it we were parked behind Sullivan's. I was home free. People could leap from the truck without the nasty skid marks, I was headed for the door and all was well on Planet Carl. Now, Sullivan's was a 'shotgun bar', long and narrow and old, with booths on one wall and the bar on the other. Dark wood, fucking place was the tits. I pick a booth and sit down, 3 other people as well and the rest piled into the next booth down. There was a waitress sitting at the bar doing something, I couldn't quite see what. They had uniforms like they did on Alice. Polyester dress, wide lapels, the whole nine yards. This one particular waitress fit the stereotype to a T, all the way to the blonde Boufont Hairdoo and I swear to god Rhinestone glasses. She sitting there doing something and when I became obvious to me what that I was I had my own little panic attack, and although I didn't run out the back door into the blizzard, I was stepping briskly and it is a good thing nobody was in front of my or they would have been run over. She had been doing something with a scissors and something pink that I could make out but then..... but then when I did understand what she was doing I freaked and left.. She was making tiny little Pink Yarn French Poodles, dolls or toys or whatever you want to call them but at that point in time, I wasn't having any of it. So I sat in the bed of a truck for about an hour, in the snow and wind in an alley in Denver, waiting for my friends to come out. They thought I'd left and someone asked "What the fuck are you doing sitting in the snow??". All I could say was "Pink Yarn French Poodles!".
